After compiling a list for the ten movies I was looking forward to the most last fall, I wasn’t initially going to do one for this winter and spring (it’s why this one’s a week or three late in getting posted). Plenty of things had changed for the worse since I wrote that list last summer. After all, millions of people were getting vaccinated in August, professional sports leagues were resuming their regular schedules and kids across North America were heading back to school. Life felt like it was finally getting back to normal. Hell, a few months later trick or treating was a thing again. And most importantly, no one had heard of Omicron. Then in a few short weeks it all went to hell.
Thousands of movie theatres across the world are closed once again and the ones remaining open are deserted. Movie studios have begun shuffling release dates (again) and no one knows what anything will look like from one day to the next.
But you know what? To hell with COVID-19. To hell with the Coronavirus and Omicron and anti-vaxxers and quarantines. To hell with all of it. No, I’m not over COVID (I’m not that stupid) and I haven’t suddenly abandoned caution and human decency. I haven’t decided to disregard the safety of the human beings around me or the dignity and respect for the overworked and under appreciated people toiling in hospitals around the world. I will remain vigilant and cautious and continue to look out for those around me. But I am done with letting these things (especially the anti-vaxxers and other assorted lunatics) dictate what I will and won’t look forward to.
Sure, I’m still going have to plan around a world that seems to change every day, but if there’s one thing most of us have learned over the past two years it’s that there is always a way to adapt and enjoy what we want.
So no complaining. No bitching or whining or crying. Just a list of the ten movies I want to see over the next four months, global pandemic be damned. Because whether it’s in a theatre or on PVOD or on streaming, I am going to see them (and without the aid of piracy). So stay safe everyone, stay strong and keep your chins up. We’ll get through this together. In the meantime, maybe catch these flicks too.
10. The 355 (January 7th): Remember all those rumours about making James Bond a woman? Remember how it kept a lot of movie fans and keyboard warriors up all night arguing? Well here’s a solution; why not make a female super spy that kicks ass? In fact, while you’re at it, why not make an entire team? A team composed of agents from across the globe. An Avengers of spies, so to speak. And why not make Jessica Chastain their leader? Why wouldn’t anyone want to check out this action flick, especially during the doldrums of January?
9. Moonfall (February 4th): Moonfall looks so absurdly ridiculous watching it HAS to be a fun time. I’ve bashed previous Roland Emmerich flicks like 2012 and the Day After Tomorrow because not only did they take themselves seriously, they expected the audience to as well. But everything we’ve seen of his latest end of the world CGI-fest (where the moon may or may not be an egg for a giant alien monster bent on destroying the Earth) looks like a real life Saturday morning cartoon with a hundred million dollars worth of special effects and a few Hollywood names crammed into it (did Halle Berry lose a bet?). And John Bradley of Game of Thrones fame looks like he may just be the comedic scene stealer we all need in our lives. And after the last two years, couldn’t we all use a big budget laugh? Forget science fiction, Moonfall could be 2022’s biggest comedy.
8. The Northman (April 22nd): A viking revenge tale set in the dark ages pairing up a badass warrior with a genius played by Anya-Tayor Joy? Yes please. The Northman looks like it will scratch both my historical fiction and my smart action movie itches at the same time. Add an awesome cast, beautiful cinematography and probably a killer soundtrack and I’ve got a reason to part with the price of admission.
7. Turning Red (March 11th): Alas, Disney blinked and moved this animated feature exclusively to DisneyPlus, but that isn’t going to stop me from enjoying it. Soul was an awesome animated romp that proved Pixar still has the storytelling goods, even if Disney is determined to insult the brand by giving it all away for free. Turning Red not only looks like a perfectly relatable tale for anyone who’s ever been a teenager, but it takes place in my native Canada. How could I not have this circled on my calendar?
6. Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (April 15th): I have a confession to make; I am actually looking forward to the fan outrage and social media backlash Fantastic Beasts 3 will inevitably cause more than the movie itself. Sure, I’m hoping it will be good and I will enjoy it (I liked the first one but felt the second one fell short), but I am eager to see how Johnny Depp’s legion of keyboard defenders will receive it. What if Mads Mikkelson (a fine actor who boasts his own considerable fandom after his turn as Hannibal Lecter on TV) does a superb job replacing Depp? What if the movie does well with both the critics and audience? Will Depp’s supporters accept him? Will they spearhead a boycott of the film? Or will they resort to the tactics Brie Larson’s haters used with Captain Marvel, and begin a social media campaign that spreads conspiracy theories and outright lies? Time will tell.
(For the record, while I defended Warner’s decision to drop Depp as a business move, I have not chosen sides between him and Amber Heard. I am not attacking Depp any more than I’m defending him. So don’t @ me or DM me or spam me with hate mail. If you have something to say on the matter, write it down, put it in a drawer and leave it there. Forever.)
5. Ambulance (April 8th): The world is having a moment right now. A moment where we may finally be prepared to have a serious conversation about the growing chasm between the haves and the have nots and the genuine struggles people who aren’t millionaires face every day. A movie that revolves around an army veteran-the kind of person western culture claims to regard as heroes-who resorts to stealing because he can’t afford to care for his desperately ill wife is a relevant real life perspective in that conversation. Of course it would be foolish to think a Michael Bay movie could approach the level of nuance such an examination would need, but it’s not a bad backdrop for a potentially entertaining action movie. And if you need a sympathetic hero in a modern American shoot ‘em up, could you get any more culturally relevant?
4. Uncharted (February 18th): OK Tom Holland, you’re back up. It would be catastrophically stupid and naive to believe that Holland’s upcoming video game adaptation could approach the level of success that Spider-Man: No Way Home is enjoying. And anyone who thinks it could should do everyone a favour and hold their breath until their funeral. But wouldn’t it be ironic if the global box office went into a coma after Tom Holland’s last big budget effort only to jump back to excited life with his next one? Here’s hoping that the movie is good enough to warrant that kid of hype. And anticipation. Because if it isn’t, fans of the Uncharted video game franchise will probably rise up and burn the studio down (they’ve been waiting for a quality movie adaptation for a little while). If it turns out to be a modern day Raiders of the Lost Ark, well none of us should be too disappointed about that either.
3. Sonic The Hedgehog 2 (April 8th): I already have a huge soft spot for this movie. I was a Sega kid growing up, so Sonic was an important part of my childhood. I loved the fist movie, drinking in Jim Carrey’s quirky turn as Dr. Robotnik like a fine wine. And if you remember correctly, Sonic was one of the last movies before the world was plunged kicking and screaming into the COVID-19 Pandemic, so wouldn’t it be poetically fitting if the sequel was perhaps one of the first movies we could see as said Pandemic begins to draw to a merciful close (hey, a guy can hope can’t he)? No doubt COVID will still be hanging around like that one relative during the holidays who never knows when to leave, but I am looking forward to this movie and the laughs it will hopefully inspire just the same.
2. Morbius (April 1st): Sony has proven with Venom that it may just be able to pull off a Spider-Verse independent of Marvel. But now that that universe is flirting with the MCU as a result of Marvel’s emerging multi-verse, well let’s just say the storytelling possibilities are literally endless. And while we know precious little about Morbius as a character, Jared Leto has proven time and again he can knock it out of the park (especially when he has something he can sink his teeth into-pun fully intended). There’s no reason to believe he can’t do for Morbius what Tom Hardy did for Venom. The trailers look more than intriguing and you have to think Sony is going to get behind this with everything they’ve got. That should amount to both box office and critical success.
1. The Batman (March 4th): OK DC, I’ve levelled plenty of warranted criticism your way over the years and your last two theatrical outings (Birds of Prey and last summer’s Suicide Squad) were box office and critical duds. Time to shut me up and buck the box office trend. And what better way to do that than with an edgy, emotional stripped Batman movie that could blow the box office doors off during a global Pandemic? Batman is my favourite comic book character and I am more than open to experiencing different visions of him (as long as said visions don’t insult the integrity of the character). And I’ve always felt the Riddler-the chief protagonist this time out-was an under appreciated and under used villain. The perfect criminal foil for the controlled and measured Caped Crusader. Can The Batman pull all this off? Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m looking forward to finding out. And judging by the trailers, Robert Pattinson is ready to make the world forget all about Edward Cullen and sparkling vampires.
And that instrumental soundtrack is already goosebumps worthy . . .
Image via www.screenrant.com
