The other day I was cruising the Internet instead of doing anything constructive and stumbled across something that prompted me to spray paint the room with the ice tea I was trying to drink. It was some blogger bashing the 501st Legion, the biggest cosplay and arguably the most recognizable charitable organization on the planet. At first I was pretty sure I misread it but after a quick double take I discovered some deuce-stain was going all sandbox and calling them names, demonstrating an amazing amount of online courage in the process.
They were a joke, he said. They were laughed at by the “serious” cosplayers at all the big conventions. No one took them seriously and they were losers. Worse yet, the comments section was full of a bunch of like-minded sperm refunds echoing his drivel and trying (and failing) to be clever themselves.
After wiping my ill-fated beverage off my computer screen, I found myself more than a little pissed off. Look, the 501st Legion is a huge organization, growing to over 14,000 members since its founding in 1997. Not only is it inevitable that an organization that massive and far reaching is likely to have ruffled some feathers along the way, but the bigger you are the bigger a target you become for haters (just ask the MCU).
And while I can’t speak for either the conduct or the behaviour of all 14,000 plus members, I can speak about my own experiences with the 501st Legion in Ottawa. And how they are the very definition of awesome.
As a result of my day job at Indigo Books and Music, the Love of Reading Foundation-a literacy organization that helps fill library shelves in public elementary schools during a time when governments of all stripes have turned defunding education into an Olympic sport-has become near and dear to my heart. It can be immensely rewarding, especially when we receive a hand made card from a school we’ve adopted or when librarians bring a handful of students along on a book buying spree.
But it can also be daunting. Love of Reading is just one of a million fantastic causes out there, forcing us into a competition for donor dollars. And I’d be lying if I said there were more than a few meat puppets wandering around who go out of their way to Ebenezer Scrooge whatever good cause crosses their path.
As a result we’ve used a number of events to help drive our goals. That’s where my path crossed with the 501st here in the Nation’s Capital. They’ve been a regular fixture in our fundraisers for years and they’ve been the very model of professionalism despite rotating leadership.
There are two stories I like to relate when discussing how outstanding Ottawa’s 501st have been. The first time they attended one of our events, several members raced over from a fundraiser they did that morning to raise funds for a sick child’s hospital care. Others, meanwhile, had to leave the event a few minutes early because later that evening they were attending a fundraising gala for the Make-A-Wish foundation at the Canadian Museum of Civilization (since renamed the Museum of History). Our fundraiser was essentially sandwiched in between two others and they attended with both smiles and enthusiasm.
They essentially gave up most of their Saturday to volunteer for charity, clad in heavy costumes no less. Who does that?
The second tale is just as touching. For a while we had a young lady with us who was deathly phobic of costumes. She always had a heads up when the 501 was coming and we made sure she wasn’t working that day, but both the 501 leadership and attending members would repeatedly check to make sure she was OK. They were going out of their way to accommodate her even though they were doing us a favour.
The first year Emperor Palpatine graced us with his presence he was afraid he might scare some of the kids. Turned out the kids loved him almost as much as their dads did.
And when we had to cancel a fundraiser earlier this year because of the global COVID-19 pandemic, they wanted us to know they would still be available as soon the world returned to something resembling normal.
If the governments of the world behaved with as much professionalism as Ottawa’s 501st do, we’d be living in a goddamned Utopia right now.
One year we adopted a school in Nunavut and I was genuinely concerned about the success of raising money for a First Nations’ school (Canadians love to boast about their tolerance, but that veneer of social progressiveness quickly evaporates when it comes to our Indigenous citizens). But after a quick e-mail or two, the 501st was there with bells on and we knocked our goal out the park as a result.
The truth is, with the exception of a single year the days the 501 have lent us a hand have always been our best performers. And the one year they didn’t claim the title was because the city had been torn up by half a dozen tornadoes the previous week, so you could say there was some extenuating circumstances (but they still managed a close second).
You could also say the 501 has also spoiled me when it comes to dealing with other cosplayers and charitable organizations. While we’ve had some great experiences with other guests (Batman Beyond and some Disney Princesses to name a few), I’ve had experiences with others claiming to be all about the charity that have left a horrible taste in my mouth. Part of that was because I went into every exchange expecting the same level of courtesy and enthusiasm the 501st constantly demonstrated.
I have never had a single negative experience with the 501st. Some others on the other hand, have made me want to poke someone in the eye. Twice. With a piranha.
Again, I can only speak about my personal experiences with the 501 here in Ottawa. But over the course of six years those experiences have never been anything but positive and genuinely up lifting. They have been a huge part of helping us bring smiles to a lot of kids whose communities were struggling and whose governments were neglecting them.
In 2016 it is estimated that the 501st donated nearly 900,000 hours to charitable causes across the entire planet, raising over 46 million dollars in the process. That doesn’t include the countless smiles they’ve been responsible for. One of the things the 501st like to do here in Ottawa is help the Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario every Christmas, doing whatever they can to bring a little joy and warmth to some young hearts during the holidays.
In fact, the 501st is so well respected globally, Disney called them in to help film the final episode of The Mandolorian when the showrunners were in a pinch. Yep, most of those stormtroopers you saw getting blown up were professional cosplayers who regularly donate huge chunks of their time to charity. That may be the best casting call Hollywood has ever made.
And if you stop by their Facebook page, you can see picture after picture after picture of 501st members whose day job has had them battling the Coronavirus pandemic that has paralyzed the entire world. And you can bet that when that war is over, they’ll strap on their costumes and fight to bring joy to as many as they can, with nary a dollar of thanks in return.
So as far as the clump of syphilitic pubic hair who penned his little blog post calling the 501 names, and all the intellectually malfunctioning lemmings who obediently flocked to his feet, well to paraphrase the People’s Champ, they take their opinions, turn them sideways and stick them up their scruffy nerf herding asses. Because when push comes to shove and I’ve needed help to get some books into some kids’ hands after all the politicians have failed, the 501st has been there with neither question nor hesitation.
Meanwhile the skin waste who saw fit to sling shade their way has likely only brought misery to his little corner of the world. And no short of humiliation and shame to his long suffering parents.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need some new ice tea.
Image via syfy.com
