Last spring an American politician tweeted that the inclusion of an openly gay character in Disney’s live action Cruella ruined his childhood. And while said political hopeful was likely just trying to appeal to the Conservative vote in the California district where he’s run for office numerous times (and lost each time), he isn’t the only one whose used the “murdered my childhood” line this year.
We heard it from plenty of Transformers fans when Netflix premiered its three part War For Cybertron saga. Some of the biggest complaints form the Cybertronian fandom was that the voice actors Netflix used didn’t sound enough like the ones they watched in the 80’s and the 90’s (ignoring that many of those actors have retired from the business while a few others have sadly passed away).
Every time a trailer for a new Star Trek show hits the web, the comments section is immediately littered with accusations that new shows are killing the franchise and they “aren’t the Star Trek I grew up with!”
How much of the anger directed at the Disney Star Wars trilogy was really because the movies presumed to be different? Make no mistake, those movies had their share of warts, but millions were left frothing at the mouth with indignant fan-rage because they weren’t the loveable, campy space-fairly tales they saw four decades ago.
When the 2016 Ghostbusters movie was announced, fans bolted to the closest internet connection to announce that Hollywood was dead set on ruining yet another staple of their childhood. We’re starting to hear similar rumbles about Afterlife as it’s long awaited debut draws closer.
When it was announced that there would be a new G.I. Joe cartoon next year, commenters were lining up to pronounce that the nefarious creators of the world were murdering yet another beloved childhood cartoon.
But perhaps nothing got the snot kicked out of it like Kevin Smith’s Masters of the Universe relaunch last July. Only the first half of the show (the second drops later this month), it focused on Teela and allies trying to save Eternia after He-Man apparently died following an epic showdown with his arch-nemesis Skeletor. And fans spent weeks raging over the decision to save the most powerful man in the universe for the second half of the show. It was an abomination! It was a travesty! And according to some of them, there were too many girls in it too.
And when Mattel and Netflix began advertising their other He-Man show, a reimagined one aimed at a new generation of fans (where Smith’s was aimed at older fans of the original), many became downright toxic. You can bet that more than a few middle-aged fanboys were throwing things at their TV screens when it streamed earlier this year.
But all of this may be nothing but a warmup for Disney’s new Home Alone movie, which hits DisneyPlus this Friday (negative votes outnumber the positive ones nearly four to one on 20th Century Fox’s Youtube channel). If you want to avoid a tsunami of fan bitterness bitter this holiday season, maybe steer clear of social media for a while.
Whenever there’s a remake or relaunch-particularly of a popular 80’s property-we’re treated to the same buffet of recycled complaints and absurd indignation.Â
Maybe the time has finally come that everyone just took a step or two back, took a deep breath and unpacked the collective and reflexive complaints.
First of all, if a remake of a show or movie you loved during your formative years can “kill your childhood,” you probably need therapy. Or your childhood really sucked. Seriously. Stop saying that or get the assistance you need.
The second thing everyone has to remember is that all those cartoons you devoured when you were a kid and have romanticized into award winning masterpieces were really just half hour long commercials to sell you toys. Remember those PSA’s at the end of He-man, G.I. Joe and She-Ra? Those were added to ease parental concerns over the fact that the shows were little more than naked marketing to kids who wouldn’t be old enough to vote for another decade. Odds are every cartoon you watched and loved as a child was selling you something. Entertaining you was just a bonus.
And to be honest, they weren’t that good. Most of the cartoons we associate with our childhoods were mass produced, cookie cutter Franken-toons produced as cheaply as possible. Have you ever revisited some your childhood faves on Youtube? It can be a sobering experience. While some cartoons of the 90’s (Gargoyles, Batman: The Animated Show and a few others) were marginally better than their predecessors a decade earlier, none of them are anywhere near as good as you “remember.” Everyone has romanticized their favourite childhood cartoons into impeccable artistic achievements, but the truth is they were just as mass produced as the toys they were selling. And quite often it showed.
But the ultimate, uncomfortable pill everyone has to swallow is that none of these shows (or movies) belong to you. They never did. The bottom line is they are intellectual properties developed by toy manufacturers to make money. As such, said toy companies reserve the right to re-make, re-launch and re-boot said properties whenever they like, to whoever they like and as often as they like. No matter how big a fan you were (or still may be) of the original, you don’t get any say.
Kevin Smith didn’t work for Netflix, he worked for Mattel. And it was He-Man’s creator that gave Smith carte creative blanche and a thumbs up on all of his choices for Revelations. Rooster Teeth, the studio that produced the recent Transformers: War For Cybertron trilogy, were contracted by Hasbro and followed the toy maker’s notes every step of the way. Just like whoever will produce next year’s new G.I. Joe show and any future Mighty Morphin Power Rangers projects will.
As much as it may drive you nuts and as much as you may disagree, you don’t get a vote on how these properties are handled.
You need to remember that the world has changed since you gobbled these shows up after school and on Saturday mornings. And it’s changed a lot. The original He-Man and the Masters of The Universe turned 37 years old this year. Transformers: The Movie just celebrated it’s 35th birthday. The Real Ghostbusters clocks in at around the same age and G.I. Joe is older than all of them. If you need some extra perspective, some of the voice actors who brought these shows to vibrant life have passed away. From old age. That wasn’t meant to be callous, just a reality check.
Plenty has changed since these shows graced the silver screen during the days when you only had a handful of channels to choose from. Technology has raced forward at break neck speeds. Our entire culture and the values it embraces has changed (the 80’s will forever be remembered as a decade of decadence, Conservative politics and unchecked consumer narcissism). North America’s population demographics have been overhauled completely. It wouldn’t be unusual if many of the houses you grew up in and the schools you attended were gone. Some of the neighbourhoods of your youth are probably unrecognizable, with playgrounds and Blockbuster outlets being replaced by parking lots, condominiums and Starbucks. Even the way we produce and consume media has changed dramatically. Could you imagine trying to explain what a streaming service is to your twelve year old self? Or smartphones? Or Pixar?Â
The world doesn’t revolve around straight white guys anymore. Women aren’t damsels in distress waiting to be rescued or trophies to be earned (or in many cases, subordinates to everyone else). As much as you may dislike it (or even outright hate it), every reboot is playing by different rules and trying to connect to different viewers. The crosshairs have shifted to a new target audience. And you have to accept it’s no longer you.
None of this means you can’t continue to love the things you watched as children, camped out in front of the TV with a bowl of sugary cereal and a tall frosty glass of chocolate milk. Or that you have to love any and all remakes that come down the pike (did anyone see that Thundercats Roar! thing a few years ago? Cause yikes . . . ). What it does mean is you have to make peace with the fact that the world has changed. To paraphrase our favourite gunslinger, the world has moved on. And as much as you may have idealized something you were addicted to as a child, and embrace it as something responsible for moulding the person you are today, it isn’t yours. It never was. Stomping your feet in anger and screaming on the internet every time a new version is born is pointless and absurd.
Feel free to enjoy the new version. Or don’t and find something new to embrace. But just know that lashing out in anger because something isn’t the same as it was almost forty years ago is a waste of time.
And it’ll only wind up making you feel older.
Image via www.discussingfilm.net
