The so-called 8th Story in the Harry Potter franchise came out to record sales, high anticipation and even higher expectations. Fans were expecting a new Harry Potter story, a new adventure in his life, a new quest with the golden trio. What we got instead was a sloppy mess of fan fiction, plot holes, rule breaking and a total disruption to the Wizarding world as we know it. It hurt.
I went into my first reading of Cursed Child with the same excitement and wide eyes as when I last opened a new Potter book. Some were unprepared for the format of a script; however I was well aware of the format in advance and as someone who has dabbled in screenwriting, I didn’t find it distracting. My first time turning the pages I happily went on with the story, followed it’s twists and turns, smiling at the familiar names, places, and spells… and then I finished it. And I realized just how wrong this story is.
In case you’re somehow two years late… spoilers ahead.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
You know what all of these have in common? They’re about Harry Potter. This 8th story has so little to do with Harry it has no right to carry his name in the title, he’s barely in the play. Strike one.
Another thing that the original 7 books had in common, they were written by J.K. Rowling. Cursed Child is written by Jack Thorne and John Tiffany and this, of course, causes most of our issues going forward. Strike two.
This is not a J.K. Rowling story. This is not a Harry Potter story. Cursed Child carries their names for no other reason than to make money.
So we’ll begin with our established golden trio because if this were a Harry Potter story, it’d be about Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Harry is written so out character, his interactions with Ginny and Albus make it clear Thorne and Tiffany had no clue who they were writing for. After everything Harry has experienced in his life-his abusive childhood-in Cursed Child they go so far as to have Harry declare he wishes Albus wasn’t his son. How can this be our Harry? As for Hermione, she’s… Minister for Magic?? In what world would Hermione leave behind her passion for S.P.E.W. (Society for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare) or Magical Law Enforcement? She is so far from politics, who came up with this?
On Pottermore itself – the official end-all and be-all for everything honestly-actually Harry Potter related, states the current Minister for Magic is Kingsley Shaklebolt, and he has been since 1998, no mention at all of Hermione. Ron as nothing more than a love-sick puppy for Hermione and is written as such a weak character. He has no motivation, no real purpose and it’s sad to see such a good character and friend get lost in the mess. As for our new characters, they’re dry, uninteresting or in the case of Delphi, an overly, irritatingly pure plot convenience. How many times does she just show up with no reasoning? Every time she is on the page.
There are also several “jokes” in the play that are strictly reserved for fans of the Potter films, such as Voldemort not having a nose or Ron’s non-stop eating – neither of these things are written in the books, and bear in mind JK did not write the screenplays for the Potter films so again, these portrayals of the characters are two steps wrong from what I now feel the need to call “the real characters”. It seems apparent that Thorne and Tiffany are more familiar with the Potter films rather than the actual books.
Something that makes the Wizarding World work so perfectly is the well-established and well-known laws of magic and how it can and can’t be used. This gets torn apart and thrown out the window when opening the pages of Cursed Child. Polyjuice potion, for instance, allows one to take on the form of another; it’s a difficult potion and one that is known to take its sweet time in being completed. In Cursed Child, they seem to whip it up in no time, with no delay, and no need for 2-step brewing.
But the biggest, most horrendous, vile piece of Cursed Child is the return of the Time-Turner.
Despite JK purposefully destroying the remaining Time-Turners in Order of the Pheonix because of the massive plot holes and the thousands of issues they cause her, somehow, they are back (despite being destroyed).
The basic piece of knowledge related to the time-turner is that no matter what, if a time-turner is used, things were always, already going to happen that way. The time-turner was always going to have been used, the events that happen now are the same as when the decision to use the Time-Turner was made. In Prisoner of Azkaban, Buckbeak was always saved, Sirius was always saved, and the events of that evening took place the way they did because the time-turner was always going to have been used. Cursed Child destroys this law completely. We’re suddenly thrown into a world of alternate realities and timelines changing everything and everyone.
The most offensive (and it is truly offensive) causes of these alternate timelines is that not only does Cedric Diggory live; he becomes a Death-Eater. How on God’s green earth could ANYONE, let alone teenage boys, turn Cedric Diggory into a Death-Eater is the most impossible, unrealistic and horrific lapse in logic I have ever read. This is not possible, I don’t care what circumstances you have created. Cedric Diggory would never-and I mean never-become a Death-Eater. How dare you even attempt to do this to such a beloved character? Cedric’s death was shocking and heartbreaking; to degrade him to this level and belittle his memory is so wrong.
You know what else is so wrong? Lord Voldemort having a child. There’s no way this could ever be canon. Just how ridiculous are we getting now? This is laughable. Let’s not forget Voldemort was born out of a love potion and is incapable of love. Also, his soul has ripped apart. And what exactly is his physical state after being brought back to human form? Ugh, let’s just end this one here. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named having a child is bizarre, doesn’t make sense and… nope! We could also add in the question of how Bellatrix Lestrange is hiding a pregnancy throughout what have taken place during The Deathly Hallows? And how has Draco not known/noticed since they had been living together yet when he returns in Cursed Child he has no memory of it? Delphi is pure convenience.
So, Delphi has been around since Deathly Hallows, setting up her plan, and it’s only after the 19 years later that his scar suddenly starts hurting again? Despite the Horcrux inside of him being destroyed and he no longer has a physical connection to Voldemort? More logic. Let’s not forget the part in Cursed Child where Harry – current Harry as an adult – is in the church in Godric’s Hollow watching the very night his parents are murdered, and again, we’re supposed to accept this as canon? I can’t believe this was allowed to be written, it’s offensive to both the fans and to the character. What’s supposed to happen to Harry 19 years after watching his parents die?
Now I don’t care if this is all fiction, you guys. I, like many others, sought out the Harry Potter series as an escape, as a rescue from difficult and trying times in life. I’m one of those people who would say with complete honesty, Harry Potter saved my life. Hogwarts is my home. Years later when Cursed Child was announced I was thrilled. I hoped it would be the perfect continuation of the books. To say I was let down is an understatement. In fact, it’s hard to place the emotion I feel. In some ways, it almost feels like Cursed Child has ruined Harry Potter. It certainly ruined my expectations for the future additions to the Wizarding World.
I look at the original 7 with the same love and appreciation that I’ve always held for them. When adding Cursed Child into the picture, I shudder. I can’t find anything within it that binds it to the original series. It’s a poor piece of fan-fiction written with no care for continuity, logic, or appreciation to the life-long fans. We’re not a fandom to brush these things under the rug, we’re not kind to the abuse of the characters who feel like our friends and family. The only way to not let it ruin the series for me is to ignore it.
It’s disheartening. JK Rowling could tell it to my face over and over again and I will never accept this as canon. If it were her story, written by her hand, with her knowledge and it was actually about Harry Potter, I’d trust her more with this continuation. It’s a massive let down. She herself has said numerous times that there was no story beyond book 7. That she had it wrapped up. It’s unfortunate to be handed this mess and be told to accept it as canon. Again, it’s not even her story!
They say never meet your heroes. They should also say you can’t always trust them either. I don’t trust her when it comes to Cursed Child, and I don’t have trust or faith in the future that there may be for the Wizarding World.
But that’s another conversation for another day. When it comes to Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, the Eighth Story, there is no question for the fans. This is not canon. This is not the continuation of our 19 years later.
And all is not well.
