After School Special

I ABSOLUTELY HATED THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, BUT MY FAVOURITE CARTOONS HEPLED ME SURVIVE

Labour Day weekend is now in the rear view mirror, meaning summer vacation has come to an end and millions of formerly care free kids have returned to school. I hated the first day back with a rabid passion. I mean sure, kindergarten and grade one were kind of novel, but after that, the happiness threw itself right out the window. And it only got worse the older I got (say what you want about elementary school, but I never had to worry about getting stuffed in my locker or having my head dunked in a toilet until high school). But I had two balms to help soothe the wound that was back to school. First, when I returned home from the fresh hell known as School: Day One, I was almost always welcomed by the brand new Sear’s Christmas Wish Book, which never failed to bring a smile to my school weary face (even when I was seventeen-shut up). The second medicine was new after school cartoons.

Every September in the 80’s and 90’s, kids were treated to a menu of new cartoon shows and fresh episodes of our returning favourites for our after school and Saturday morning pleasure. And I swear to Batman, Baby Jesus and Bill Murray that new episodes of my favourite robots in disguise were the only thing that kept me sane during the first few weeks back. So here’s a quick rundown of my ten favourite after school cartoons growing up. Some have aged well while others haven’t, but they all have a special place in my heart (as well as the paradise known as YouTube). Many have even been remade, re-launched and re-imagined, reflecting how timeless some of them are (or how obsessed my generation is with them). Enjoy and feel free to chime in with your own personal faves.

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10. Voltron: Defender of the Universe (1984): Let’s make something clear right off the bat, I’m talking about the kick-ass Lion Force version and not that abomination formed by cars and trucks and sailboats (producers scrapped plans for a Gladiator incarnation because of how hated and unpopular the vehicle version was). Adapted from the popular Japanese show Beast King GoLion, the lion force Voltron followed the exploits of an elite force of pilots who commanded the five enchanted lions that comprised the giant robotic warrior Voltron. Whenever the evil King Zarkon and his jerk wad of a son Prince Lotor made trouble for the planet of Arus (whose princess commanded the Blue lion), the lions sprang free of their colour coordinated hiding places to kick some Planet Doom ass. Usually the robeasts (giant magical robot monsters) were more than a match for the lions individually, but when the going got tough (and it always did following the second commercial break), the five lions would combine to form the super powerful Voltron, who’d use his sword to reduce the robeast of the day into bio-mechanical confetti before the end credits. I probably witnessed more decapitations and dismemberments on this show then in Silence of the Lambs.

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